Stories that Matter

Confidence

Change. Again.

I didn’t pick a word for the year. I don’t know why, really. I guess I didn’t give it much thought. But now I kind of feel the word picked me. Change. Ironically, it was my word for 2015. And I wrote this blog post about it. Just a few months before I would announce…
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Maybe It’s Time

“You gain strength,courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  — Eleanor Roosevelt. So we…
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Write, Straight Up

Not on the rocks. Not with a splash. Maybe a twist, that’d be fun. But don’t water it down. Write what you want to say, write from you heart, and write, for the love of everything, like you mean it. If you don’t mean it, don’t waste your reader’s time, or yours. After 20 something…
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Full Disclosure

Happy Monday, friends. Not sure why we say that, really, since most folks I know aren’t all that jacked about Mondays. Me included. But hey, maybe it helps the motivation pick up a little speed, who knows. Positive thinking is always a good thing, right? So, April 2017. Which means I have survived the release…
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A Different Perspective

Welcome to another Throwback Thursday Post! We’re talking about my California anniversary trip that inspired me to write The Memory of You! If you’re just jumping on here, you can read last week’s post here. Today we’re going to to talk about perspective. Meaning, how we view things, the world, our families, friends, co-workers. Sometimes…
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Where Is Your Identity?

I’ve just returned from a few days in Nashville, where I attended the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. I was trying to figure out dates in my head and I think this must be at least the eighth conference I’ve attended, and still, I’ll be honest, it’s the best of times and it’s the…
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Owning It – A Few Thoughts From The Front Lines

It’s been a crazy few weeks. But this is my current location. And I’m trying to relax. Trying being the operative word. All the excitement and anticipation leading up to the release of The Things We Knew, has simmered down. Now it’s out there, and I’m busy with promoting and working on other projects and…
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Me, Unplugged

I talk a lot about facing my fears. Um, yeah. I know. That’s our least favorite thing, right? For me, one of my biggest battles is self-image. Because I’m introverted, I tend to keep to myself. I’m not great at talking on the phone (I hate it), and I don’t like to put myself out…
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Flashback Friday – Facing Fear

I was a scared kid. Scared of being alone, scared of being left/abandoned. I think I was scared of the dark for awhile. Timid, shy and terrified of anything that would have me step out of my comfort zone. I had a lovely visual for this blog, an old photo, but I can’t for the…
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Observations From The Back Row

Ever been in car, just coasting along and then BAM! A tire blows. You’re forced to pull over. If you’ve got a spare, you can replace the blown tire and get on your way. But if you don’t for some weird reason have a spare or you just have no earthly clue how to change…
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When You're Just Freaked Out And Maybe It's Okay

February 5, 2016 | 6 Comments

Rhino skin. And then some. Because somehow, this all feels a little different. Somehow I feel just a little more vulnerable. Just a little less confident. And rather like a very small player on a huge stage filled with far better actors than I.

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Where We Dwell …

November 23, 2015 | 2 Comments

It came down to this. These words. You have a choice. You can stay in this place of despair and despondency, waiting for things that may never happen … or you can move on. Find another place to dwell.  A moment like that, if you’ve ever had one, can be life changing. And once you’ve…

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I Have A Place?

November 9, 2015 | 5 Comments

I’m going for the record on starting blog posts with, “So, I haven’t blogged in a while…” And it’s true. I haven’t. Why? Good question. Oh. You want the honest to God truth, huh? Because I haven’t felt like I have anything to say. Nothing you haven’t heard before at least. And let’s face it,…

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You're Headed To Conference And You Just Want to Cry

September 14, 2015 | 16 Comments

That’s probably one of my favorite writing-related funnies. It pretty much sums up the entire inner process. My office may not look like that (not every day at least), but my brain sure does. And sometimes it’s too much. It’s too much to sit at the computer and force the words. We shouldn’t have to…

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Change. Again.

I didn’t pick a word for the year. I don’t know why, really. I guess I didn’t give it much thought. But now I kind of feel the word picked me.

Change.

Ironically, it was my word for 2015. And I wrote this blog post about it. Just a few months before I would announce my first big publishing contract.

We’ve been through a lot of changes since that post was written. But one thing remains the same. I don’t like change.

It tips my world a little and makes me feel all discombobulated. Makes me use big words. Like discombobulated. See, I already made some big changes toward the end of 2018. Like promising myself to get healthy and stay healthy. Walking away from wine. Yeah. That was a biggie. But I did it, and I continue on that healing journey, and you know what? It hasn’t killed me. I did kind of think it might. But I’m here to say I’m far better off now. So I thought that was a big enough change. Not to mention our house is still on the market and who knows when that will sell and we’ll have to move to who knows where . . . and there I go feeling all discombobulated again.

One thing I’ve learned about life is this – it goes on. Actually, I ripped that off from Robert Frost.

“In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

I use that quote at the beginning of Chapter Two in my book Where Hope Begins. (Which by the way, happens to be on sale at the moment – you can grab a Kindle copy for $2.99. See what I did there?).

So. Change. It’s inevitable, isn’t it? I like to think it’s something that happens to other people. Not me. But sadly, I’m not immune, and when change comes, I have to cope. And since I’ve gotten rid of my regular coping mechanisms, I’m having a bit of fun watching myself fumble through this new season I’ve stepped into. Funny thing, though, I’m doing a lot better than I thought I would be.

I’ve had the amazing privilege of publishing three novels with the awesomely talented team at Harper Collins Christian Publishing. It truly was my dream to work with them and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity. But my next book won’t be coming out through HCCP.

I have no idea where it’ll end up at the moment. I’m back on the rollercoaster ride that is the publishing business. But this is a change that, honestly, even though I was expecting it, made me squirm a little. And I think I know why.

I was too comfortable.

That’s how it works, isn’t it? You get comfy, kick your feet up, think yeah, this is the life, and then, wham! Not so fast, bucko.

Oh, okay then. But now you’re on the floor, wondering how the heck that happened. And you can either lie there and moan and groan and feel like a failure, or pick yourself up and open the door and take a look outside. What you see might surprise you. Yes, it’s scary and it’s unknown, and your GPS might be broken, but you have to step out anyway.

I have to step out.

And I think, career wise, that path might be pointing toward a little foray into the general market. But let me say this first.

I love the Christian Publishing industry. I love the people, the readers and the authors, the book bloggers, the editors and everyone in between. But I’ve had a hard time really fitting in. I don’t have an answer to the why. I just know it to be true. It’s sort of like wearing that new pair of shoes you really wanted because they’re pretty, but they pinch. A lot.

I feel like I haven’t found my tribe yet. I’ve found some of them, definitely, and you know who you are and I’m soooo grateful for you. But I’m not sure my writing has found its true home yet.

Maybe there isn’t such a place. Maybe this is . . . the end.

Yes, that ominous thought has crept in more than once over the past few days. Because there’s so much about this that I don’t know. But there’s also a lot I do know.

This is not the end.

I will not stop writing. I will continue to try to the best of my abilities to get my words into the hands of readers. I’ve gone Indie before, so that’s always an option.

I have a kickass agent who absolutely believes in me and my writing, and I trust her implicitly with wherever we’re going next. I can also say I probably would have had a few nervous breakdowns by now if not for Rachelle.

I have a decent sized band of faithful readers who have really enjoyed what I’ve offered them so far, and I will continue to write for them. And I hope they’ll follow me wherever I land.

I will not compromise the things I stand for. Whether I end up someplace in the general market or back in CBA, that goes without saying. But one of the reasons I love general market fiction so much is that there’s something for everyone. I believe my ability to tell stories is a gift from God, and I’ll continue to honor that gift.

I have always trusted God. He put me on this journey, and I believe this is just another step along the way. We’re not done yet. He’s got the GPS, I’m just along for the ride.

So there it is. That’s where life is for me at the moment. As for what comes next, well, I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!