Stories that Matter

Faith

And Why, Exactly, Do We Break So Easily?

2015. I was so ready for it. Anticipating writing a very different blog post right about now. One in which I would share some good news I’d been given quite some time ago. But I can’t do that. And I’m not sure if or when I will be able to. Things changed and before I…
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Still…Life

In the aftermath of the celebrations, all is quiet. Still. Things are tidied, relatively speaking, and I’m heading into the new year filled with anticipation. Yet, there is a restlessness within, something I can’t quite comprehend. Something perhaps I need to do, to say, to put aside. But my thoughts still scream loud. Still. I’m…
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What Do We Do Then, With The Broken?

We’re officially in holiday season. Tomorrow, my friends and family in the US will celebrate Thanksgiving. And then the Christmas decorations come out, the tree goes up and before we know it we’re singing Jingle Bells. Silent Night. O Come All Ye Faithful. But there are those around us who do not want to sing…
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Who Are The Words For?

Two weeks of traveling. Meeting friends. Attending a wedding. Being with family.  I stumbled off the plane yesterday and spent the rest of the day in a sleepy haze. Checked out my book on Amazon, read emails and Facebook posts and pondered how to sell more, reach more, do more…and I’ve already forgotten.  This.  This……
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Don't Look Down…

So you probably know I’ve just released my novel. For the second time. If you’re a reader, you might think that’s cool and awesome and oh so much fun for me. If you’re a writer, you’re grinning.  Because you know. You know that launching a book nowadays, whether Indie or through a traditional publisher, is…
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Eye On The Storm

Here on the island, we’re watching the weather. Hurricane Cristobel is churning up the Atlantic, pushing up the east coast and planning a drive-by sometime between tomorrow and Thursday evening. Who can know, really, what will happen. Who can predict what the monster that is the sea will do when she is angry?  Mother Nature…
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Once I Wrote A Book…Then I Wrote It Again…

Life. Crazy huh? Who can make sense of it? Well, to keep a very long story short, today’s post is about sharing the happy news that my first novel, Yesterday’s Tomorrow, has been re-released and is now available for your reading pleasure on Amazon! Even after all these years, this book is still #1 in…
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When You Feel Like You've Failed…What Then?

Every morning now for the past few months, dishes stack in my sink. Some mornings they’re clean, some mornings they’re not. And somebody forgot to turn on the dishwasher. Me, I suppose, but I wonder if I’m the only one who knows how to work the thing. Pressing the right button is quite difficult, I…
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Hope And Hydrangeas

Hydrangeas. They’re one of my favorite flowers. They don’t smell, sadly, but they’re beautiful. They come in many different varieties and colors of pink and blue and white. I’ve longed to grow them for years, but in Bermuda it’s difficult, if not impossible. When we bought our place on the lake in Northern Ontario, I…
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And So We Plant

October 2, 2017 | 4 Comments

It’s been a hard season. A scary few months. We began May with much joy, still celebrating the birth of our first granddaughter, Annabel Rose, born at the end of April. And she is everything we and her parents prayed for. She is beautiful. Perfect. All amazing baby cuddles and snuggles and sleepy smiles and…

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Why You Keep Trying And When It's Time To Quit.

May 19, 2017 | 2 Comments

How did it get to be Friday already?! Well, here we are, and I hope you’ve had a good week. I have some thoughts rattling around lately, that I figure I might try to express, because we’ve been talking about this stuff, my friends and I, and maybe you have too. Fractured Relationships.    Yowch.…

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We're Waiting For You!

April 25, 2017 | 4 Comments

Dear Baby E, You’re late. I suspect this may be a good indication that we will get along well. (I think this trait may come from both sides!). As your grandmother, I reserve the right to tell you what’s up, and rest assured I probably will, whether you like it or not. Heads up –…

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Will It Really Change Us?

January 2, 2017 | 4 Comments

There’s a calm over the ocean this morning. A certain stillness. An anticipatory hum seems to fill the air on this second day of a brand new year, and it asks the question, “What will you do with this gift?” We’ve closed the door on 2016. Some of us have slammed it shut and bolted…

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Get Back Up ~ Dedicated To My Friend Sandie

December 2, 2016 | 34 Comments

You should know, I am a die-hard GWTW fan. I’ve lost track now exactly how many times I’ve watched the movie. But I have read the book only once. I’m thinking I need to rectify that. The GWTW experience for me began as a lonely and homesick thirteen-year old wandering the musty maze of books…

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The Crash

October 31, 2016 | 4 Comments

Ever been in a spot where you’re all prepared for one thing and then, before you can take your next breath, something happens to flip the entire day upside down? Sure you have. I think we’ve all been there at some point. Maybe you’re there right now. That’s okay. Grab a coffee. Put your feet…

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How Do We Simply Carry On?

July 8, 2016 | 1 Comment

*** I’m not posting pictures with this piece because I think we’ve all seen and heard enough. Instead, I hope my words will speak just as loudly.*** I am burdened. Today, four days out from the release of my very highly anticipated novel (mostly by me), I should be elated. Over the moon excited and…

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Why I Love Me Before You

June 3, 2016 | 24 Comments

I’m not going to bother with the SPOILER ALERT or DISCLAIMER tags because, face it, if you don’t want to read this, why’d you click the link? I don’t generally jump into these arguments, but yesterday I read something that made me cringe. And I’d had enough. I’m an author. I have been writing fiction…

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When You're Just Freaked Out And Maybe It's Okay

February 5, 2016 | 6 Comments

Rhino skin. And then some. Because somehow, this all feels a little different. Somehow I feel just a little more vulnerable. Just a little less confident. And rather like a very small player on a huge stage filled with far better actors than I.

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So We Don't Miss The Good …

December 31, 2015 | 3 Comments

My last blog post of 2015! How crazy is that! I’m hearing from a lot of people that this year has flown by, and I have to agree. Seems like just yesterday we were preparing to welcome in 2015, and here we are, saying goodbye. If you’re like me, you take a little time to…

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And Why, Exactly, Do We Break So Easily?

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2015.

I was so ready for it. Anticipating writing a very different blog post right about now. One in which I would share some good news I’d been given quite some time ago. But I can’t do that. And I’m not sure if or when I will be able to. Things changed and before I knew, before any of us knew, what was happening, we’re now  faced with something unexpected. Something unanticipated. And right now?

I feel broken.

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I can’t tell you if that’s okay or not. I can’t tell you whether I have the right to these feelings when so many others are facing far worse scenarios. Unemployment. Bankruptcy. Failed marriages. Cancer. You name it, it’s out there, and you and I probably know someone in pretty dire straits. So I wipe away tears and tell myself it could be worse.

Oy.

Yeah. It could. It sure could. And dammit, I’ve been here before. I’ve faced down disappointment, dealt with rejection and somehow soldiered on. After a few glasses of wine and a good sleep, things never look so bad the next day.

But this time? This time I’m older. Wiser, maybe, or that’s just wishful thinking…but this time it feels different. This time I’m not so sure I can get back up and be the same. Keep calm and carry on. I don’t know if I have it in me to keep fighting, if we have to, for what’s right in this. But I don’t know if I can walk away either.

Why are we so easily broken?

What is it about our spirit that makes it so easily crushable? You know?

Friends are rallying, wanting to pick up sticks and bash down doors and tell the world what they think about this craziness…and me? Well…I’m tired. Because I have worked so long and so hard and so recklessly at times, truly believing that this is my calling. This is what I’m meant to be doing. I have the blog posts to prove it. And then this comes. This unexpected blow that sails through me, sends me crashing and somehow puts a lid on my party before it even started.

Wow, God. Seriously?

Easy isn’t it, to blame the Almighty when things just piss you off. Like He never saw it coming. Which makes it worse in a way, because how ’bout a warning? Or oh, I know, how ’bout you changed the course of that path and prevented it altogether? Yeah. How ’bout that.

I don’t know.

And I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Not right now. Not today. But I’m sitting here writing. Which tells me one thing.

I can’t not.

So I guess, whether things change here at all, whether this was just a hiccup and something better comes along or whether it doesn’t, I guess I’m not going to quit. Even though today it sounds like the better plan. The safer plan. But is it the best plan? Ha. Probably not. Maybe for some. Maybe if I sat you down and shared with you every single step I’ve taken on this journey to finding my place in this ridiculously hard world of publishing, you’d look me in the eye and call it what it is. Crazy.

I don’t want this to be your story. My dear friend looked at me this morning over Skype through mournful eyes and said those words. Softly. Because she knows I’m broken. And I could only nod. I don’t want it to be my story either. But it is. Right now, it is. And we don’t know why. And yes, it could be worse…so so so so so much worse. But I’m not going to deny that this hurts. You’ve got to own that, feel it and accept it in order to work through it. Which is why I’m writing this down. So I remember.

So, when things are good again, and they will be, I’ll remember that I am just as easily broken as I am bolstered. And there is only One who can truly gather up those shards and seamlessly put them back together again. That’s the truth I know. The truth I’m holding on to. Because at the end, when it’s all said and done, this is all that matters. How I lived it out.

How I faced the unexpected and stepped around it.

With Grace.

Jesus. Help. Come. Heal.

This. This heart’s cry?

This is how we do broken.

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