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If I Didn't Know Any Better…

I’m struggling. Chalk it up to age, (I do), but lately I have days when I just want to go back to bed and stay under the covers. All day. This is one of those days. And this is your warning. Read on at your own risk. My book will have been out a year…
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Meet Author Kathi Macias!

It’s my pleasure today to have esteemed author, Kathi Macias on the blog. Kathi is one of those rare gems of an author, someone who gives back to the writing community in wonderful ways. She’s also someone who graciously offered to read my debut novel for endorsement and gave me the amazing gift of a…
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Meet Dianne Christner!

Today’s featured author is Dianne Christner! Dianne is going to answer my very inquisitive questions, so let’s get started! Who Are You? Thanks for asking, Cathy. I’m a vain-plain gal who colors her gray hair brown and usually dresses in jeans. I might add that I earned my not-so-gray hair from forty years of marriage…
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I Love You

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, (cough), I thought we could talk about love. Confession: I write romance, but I am probably the least romantic person in real-life. I have no idea why that is. Perhaps it’s because in my family growing up, we never said it. I mean, we knew we loved each other, me,…
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Susan Meissner Is Here!

Okay, I’m seriously excited about today’s guest! I’ve been a big Susan Meissner fan ever since I read White Picket Fences, so I’m thrilled that she’s agreed to share some thoughts with us here on the blog! Her books are amazingly realistic and speak to the soul, with characters you feel could just step off…
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Deadline!

Hey All! Well, I’m going to keep this short and sweet today as I’m making a final pass-through on my latest novel, Hidden in the Heart, before it gets sent off to my wonderful editor at OakTara. This is both exciting and terrifying. Putting a second book ‘out there’ is kind of freaking me out.…
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Meet Julie Cantrell – Author of Into The Free!

It’s a pleasure to have Julie here today! Her debut novel, Into The Free, has just released, and it is already a smashing success! I haven’t read it yet, but I can’t wait! Here’s what you have to look forward to: Into the Free      Debut Novel of Love and Forgiveness from Southern Author…
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When Your Agent/Editor Says The "R" Word, (And They Don't Mean "Ready!")

Before I was published, before I had an agent, I really didn’t know what to expect once I passed the first level of ‘wannabe writer’, and actually had someone far more knowledgeable than I was about all things publishing, looking at my work. I was more concerned about actually getting past that level. Didn’t much…
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Buzz – Say What??

I’ve ‘labeled’ Mondays on the blog as “Book Buzz.” It’s an interesting thing, this concept of ‘buzz’. I’m not sure when the word as it is most often used today, entered our vocabularies. I certainly don’t remember using it as a child. Here’s what I found in an online dictionary: buzz 1    [buhz] noun 1. a low, vibrating, humming sound, as of bees,machinery, or people talking. 2. a rumor or report.…
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Meet Author Michael Duncan!

Today we have author Michael Duncan visiting with us! He’s here to answer the questions I’m sure we all want to know! Who Are You? Who am I? That’s a good question and one that ought to be answered! 🙂 I am Michael – husband to my beautiful wife and father to three amazing children.…
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When the World Stopped

March 30, 2020 | 0 Comments

It took a couple hours to get through the cobwebs to find this page. It’s been a little over a year since I wrote my last blog post. I figured it was a waste of time, and I had better things to do. Better things to spend my time on. Time was precious.And now there…

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And So We Plant

October 2, 2017 | 4 Comments

It’s been a hard season. A scary few months. We began May with much joy, still celebrating the birth of our first granddaughter, Annabel Rose, born at the end of April. And she is everything we and her parents prayed for. She is beautiful. Perfect. All amazing baby cuddles and snuggles and sleepy smiles and…

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It's ACFW Conference Time!

September 15, 2017 | 6 Comments

I know, it’s been an age. And honestly, I’m not sure you’ll hear much from me around here anymore. I haven’t quite ‘hit’ the formulae that keeps people hooked. So this is more of a fun post that my friend Laurie Tomlinson has going, so I thought I’d join in the fun. It’s almost time…

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And So We Choose This Thing

June 21, 2017 | 6 Comments

Thirty one years. Today. I stood before him in a long white gown that cost more than my father wanted to spend, but he bought it for me anyway, because it was the one and he was ‘the one’ and my Dad would have bought me the moon if I said I wanted it. I stood…

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Is It Supposed To Hurt This Much?

June 8, 2017 | 7 Comments

That was a text I got from my daughter a few hours into labour. “Is it supposed to hurt this much?” I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t. Because, yes. It is. And it does. And it will continue to. With every challenge that comes with being a parent. Being a mother or father or…

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We're Waiting For You!

April 25, 2017 | 4 Comments

Dear Baby E, You’re late. I suspect this may be a good indication that we will get along well. (I think this trait may come from both sides!). As your grandmother, I reserve the right to tell you what’s up, and rest assured I probably will, whether you like it or not. Heads up –…

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Onward to 2017!

December 27, 2016 | 1 Comment

I hope your Christmas was fabulous! We spent a quiet day together, and then, in a shocking break from tradition, we went to a restaurant for Christmas dinner! It was lovely not having to spend the day chopping, peeling and cooking, constantly checking the clock to make sure everything was running on time. I’ll admit,…

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Where Is Your Identity?

August 29, 2016 | 17 Comments

I’ve just returned from a few days in Nashville, where I attended the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. I was trying to figure out dates in my head and I think this must be at least the eighth conference I’ve attended, and still, I’ll be honest, it’s the best of times and it’s the…

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Grace Awards 2015 Winners ~ in Faith Based Fiction

May 31, 2016 | 0 Comments

So honored to be a recipient of this year’s Grace Awards! And since I’m knee deep in edits this week, it gives me something to celebrate! And blog about. 😛

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Guarding The Writer’s Heart

May 9, 2016 | 0 Comments

Source: Guarding The Writer’s Heart

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If I Didn't Know Any Better…

I’m struggling.

Chalk it up to age, (I do), but lately I have days when I just want to go back to bed and stay under the covers. All day. This is one of those days. And this is your warning. Read on at your own risk.

My book will have been out a year this Thursday. In some ways, that’s just so incredible. Thinking back on all the preceding years where I was hitting one brick wall after another, getting so very, very close, and then, slam, another door shut, another brick wall to scale. The road traveled to get here has not been easy. Given all those struggles, I suppose it’s fair to say I had vast misconceptions about what life would look like as a published author.

I figured once I had a book out there, things would pretty much be smooth sailing from that point on. Of course, every author wants their book to do well. I did. I still do. Has it? I don’t know. Perhaps not on the scale I’d hoped. And definitely not on the monetary scale. Being published is actually not all that much fun. It can be, and it should be, but I think I sucked the life out of the party early on. Truthfully, I’ve spent the vast majority of this year wishing for more. Wishing for more readers. Wishing for better sales. Wishing for…you name it, I’ve probably wished for it.

And I forgot the joy. Forgot the wonder of receiving that first contract, seeing that first book cover, holding my very first book in my hands.

So I want to remember all the good stuff. Attending the ACFW conference and seeing my book in the bookstore was definitely an experience I won’t soon forget. Winning the INSPY was totally outrageous and I still think they need to do a recount…I’ve made some wonderful connections with readers who’ve become friends. I’m so blessed to be on this journey. To have an agent and a publisher and friends and family who really believe in what I do. Yet I still fret and worry and continue to check the Amazon rankings and wonder where it all went wrong.

As if I didn’t know any better.

Do you ever just want to slap yourself silly?

If I believe what I say I do, then I know the God of the universe has a plan for me, and yeah, that plan includes my writing. That plan includes whether or not I ever have another book published, or whether I have a hundred books published. He knows what I need, when I need it. Why I need it. Why I don’t. And yet, here I sit, stomach tied in knots, frittering away the hours while I wait for the next door to open.

Some of you are thinking I’m pretty nuts right about now. You’d be right. But you’re lucky. You know what it is to fully trust God. To have joy all the time. To rejoice in all things, no matter what. I’m still learning. I’m still putting one foot in front of the other and hoping I’m not about to step in  some quicksand. I’m still learning to take the good with the bad and ignore the ugly. I’m learning to have a little faith in myself. And I’m trying to trust, truly trust, that God is in this.

I have good days and bad days. Today, as I write this, is not a good day. Today I just want to pack it all in and wonder why I ever thought I could do it in the first place.

As if I didn’t know any better.

While I don’t enjoy these days, I accept them for who I am. I try to learn from them, grow through them. Tomorrow may not seem so dark. One thing I do know, despite my changing moods, God won’t change. And He’s got this. All I need to do is sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How do you cope on days when you just want to jump out a window? 

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