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What To Do With Fear and Failure and Other Nuisances

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Maybe you’re familiar with the mantra? It’s easy to say. Easy to repeat. And easy to convince yourself of. Because if you say something enough times, eventually you begin to believe it. Even if it’s not true. So last week I wrote about change, and how I was going…
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Change. Again.

I didn’t pick a word for the year. I don’t know why, really. I guess I didn’t give it much thought. But now I kind of feel the word picked me. Change. Ironically, it was my word for 2015. And I wrote this blog post about it. Just a few months before I would announce…
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Maybe It’s Time

“You gain strength,courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  — Eleanor Roosevelt. So we…
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Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing Moms I know and love. Those with us and those who have gone before us. This day is hard for some of us, I know. I miss my Mom too. But I’m grateful for the memories. Grateful for the legacy she left us. And grateful that I got…
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This Thing About Community, And Why We Need It

Can I be honest? Groups scare me a little. Anything larger than my husband and I, and two other couples is just a bit out of my comfort zone. Even when our group of eight, all close and fun friends, gets together, the house is just a bit too loud. And that’s kind of funny…
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The Magic Formula

Sharing some thoughts on writing, and life. So I’m asked this a lot. Mostly in author interviews, occasionally in an email from an aspiring author who just wants a break, wants her words to be seen, heard. “What’s the magic formula?” I’d tell you if I knew. Honest. So this is the part I could…
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And So We Choose This Thing

Thirty one years. Today. I stood before him in a long white gown that cost more than my father wanted to spend, but he bought it for me anyway, because it was the one and he was ‘the one’ and my Dad would have bought me the moon if I said I wanted it. I stood…
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Why You Keep Trying And When It's Time To Quit.

How did it get to be Friday already?! Well, here we are, and I hope you’ve had a good week. I have some thoughts rattling around lately, that I figure I might try to express, because we’ve been talking about this stuff, my friends and I, and maybe you have too. Fractured Relationships.    Yowch.…
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She's Here!

I know. I left you all hanging. Well. The three people that read this blog on occasion. Ha. I can’t blame you, sporadic blogger that I am. Anyway. One week yesterday, our little Annabel Rose made her dramatic entrance, and I have to say, though I may be slightly biased, she is perfect. And I…
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Being The Grown-Up In The Room

I read this excellent post on Jen Hatmaker’s Facbook page yesterday. She talked about looking for the grown-up in the room, i.e. the person not arguing, not using childish banter to go on the attack, the person others look to because they’re talking sense. Sometimes you have to be that person. Sometimes you have to…
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Will You Give It Up?

April 17, 2015 | 9 Comments

Reading through my blog posts lately, I had a thought. Wow, this is depressing. Okay, yeah, that was my thought, but I kind of giggled afterward. Not just because it’s true, but because it’s been so much a part of my journey of late. All these challenges, battles and trials, the wondering, the waiting. And sometimes…

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What They Don't See …

April 12, 2015 | 5 Comments

It happened again. An underhanded comment, off the cuff but sharp and succinct and it sank deeper than it probably meant to. I should know by now. I’ve heard enough of them. I shrink under the weight and flinch ever so slightly and hide behind a smile. And I know I should shake it off and…

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What If … ?

March 30, 2015 | 1 Comment

What if? That’s how you start a story. Did you know? What if? It’s such a simple theory, yet so often hard to grasp. Because there are a million what-ifs, and how do you know which one fits? How do you know which one is just right, for you? Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes the story…

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We Are More …

March 16, 2015 | 5 Comments

Why does it have to be so hard? I wonder what the final count would be, were I to tally up all the times I’ve asked that question. And heard it. And felt it. Felt it so deep in my soul that it becomes a searing pain. One I have no idea what to do…

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COMING SOON! Cover Reveal & An Invite!

February 21, 2015 | 14 Comments

I’m delighted to announce that I will be releasing my next novel this spring! (Cover by Yvonne Parks @ Pear Creative). Two lives taken down different roads – one enduring love – one shot at starting over.                                If only they believed in second chances.  Julia Connelly is finally free from twelve long years in…

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Change…

January 12, 2015 | 12 Comments

My one word. My 2015 word. I’ve thought about it for a few weeks now. Thought about it’s various meanings. Thought about what I want it to mean, what it could mean, and why. Thought about how to make it work. And yet I’ve resisted. Already. While my Facebook feed has been blowing up with…

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Still…Life

December 29, 2014 | 2 Comments

In the aftermath of the celebrations, all is quiet. Still. Things are tidied, relatively speaking, and I’m heading into the new year filled with anticipation. Yet, there is a restlessness within, something I can’t quite comprehend. Something perhaps I need to do, to say, to put aside. But my thoughts still scream loud. Still. I’m…

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Why Sometimes Storytelling Sucks…

December 15, 2014 | 5 Comments

I don’t rush the morning. I get up slow, head still hurting with thoughts that won’t go away. Heart still aching, full up with stuff I don’t know how to deal with. I need to write this down.  I wander the house, sipping coffee and snapping photographs. I’m not a great photographer, amateur at best,…

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Hidden In The Heart, A Love Story

December 10, 2014 | 3 Comments

I’m just back from Nicaragua, which I’ll tell you all about at a later date. But while I was away, my second novel re-released, so I thought I’d share that excitement with you today! Hidden in the Heart is loosely based on my own search and reunion journey, and it means a lot to me, so I’m…

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What Do We Do Then, With The Broken?

November 26, 2014 | 10 Comments

We’re officially in holiday season. Tomorrow, my friends and family in the US will celebrate Thanksgiving. And then the Christmas decorations come out, the tree goes up and before we know it we’re singing Jingle Bells. Silent Night. O Come All Ye Faithful. But there are those around us who do not want to sing…

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What To Do With Fear and Failure and Other Nuisances

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

Maybe you’re familiar with the mantra? It’s easy to say. Easy to repeat. And easy to convince yourself of. Because if you say something enough times, eventually you begin to believe it.

Even if it’s not true.

So last week I wrote about change, and how I was going through a big change in my publishing journey. And yes, part of me is excited about stepping out, exploring new horizons. But, now that the dust has settled, a few old friends have come to call.

Fear. Failure. Insecurity. Anxiety.

Maybe you’re familiar with them too? Gah. I hope not, but . . . yeah, I bet you are. And when these guys throw a party, it’s usually not much fun. I keep reminding myself I’ve been here before. Not knowing what comes next or even how to take the next step. Feeling like a failure and hating it. Wondering if this writing thing is all a colossal waste of time and maybe I should just go back to crocheting. (Yes, I did crochet back in the day. I was never very good at it).

Courage.

That’s how you deal with fear and failure and their gang. You know they’re the type your Mama warned you about. They’ll drag you down, kick you while they’re at it and lay all the blame at your feet. Who needs friends like that?

But it’s hard. Especially when you can make a list as long as your arm, laying out all the reasons you’re in this place now. Everything you should have done and didn’t. Everything you did do that wasn’t good enough. Blah, blah, blah.

Courage.

I can’t change what has happened. But I can control where we go from here. And I can change my attitude.

No, it’s not easy. But it’s necessary. Because moping around feeling sorry for myself won’t get a thing done. I know that. I’ve been in this place before. Well, not this exact place, but pretty close. And I know that the only logical thing to do is to get up, open the door, and kick those demons out.

And yes, I know how hard it is. Some days it seems impossible. Some days you just want to be sad. I know. And I think that’s okay too. Some days it’s definitely okay to sit on the couch and eat cookies and watch The Good Place. I’ve been trying to stay off social media because I’m not really in the mood to read about new book deals and new releases. Sorry. I’m just not.

But. I also know I can’t stay on the couch. I have to get up at some point and do the next thing. Even if it’s only writing a blog post that maybe a few people will read. It’s something.

It’s also good to connect, to share, and try to encourage each other, right? I’m so grateful for the friends that have reached out. It helps to know you’re not really alone. Fellow writers really get it. That kind of community is vital. So you know. I know I won’t feel this way forever. I’m not a quitter. Sometimes I don’t know if that’s a good trait or a character flaw. But it’s got me this far, so I guess it’s a good thing.

Anybody with me today? Anybody want to get up, brush off the cookie crumbs and go do this thing?

I’ll walk with you.