Stories that Matter

Perseverance

What To Do With Fear and Failure and Other Nuisances

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Maybe you’re familiar with the mantra? It’s easy to say. Easy to repeat. And easy to convince yourself of. Because if you say something enough times, eventually you begin to believe it. Even if it’s not true. So last week I wrote about change, and how I was going…
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Is It Supposed To Hurt This Much?

That was a text I got from my daughter a few hours into labour. “Is it supposed to hurt this much?” I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t. Because, yes. It is. And it does. And it will continue to. With every challenge that comes with being a parent. Being a mother or father or…
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Being The Grown-Up In The Room

I read this excellent post on Jen Hatmaker’s Facbook page yesterday. She talked about looking for the grown-up in the room, i.e. the person not arguing, not using childish banter to go on the attack, the person others look to because they’re talking sense. Sometimes you have to be that person. Sometimes you have to…
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The Birth of A Book, Some Reality Checks, And A Really Pretty Picture

So you wrote a book. And it’s pretty darn good, if you do say so yourself. You spend a bit of time spit polishing it up, but overall, this baby is THE ONE. You just know it. You send it off to your agent, he or she loves it, they immediately rush it off to…
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Conversation in A Coffee Shop

I see her there. This sad reflection of myself. Sitting. Alone. Alone only with her thoughts and the icon flashing fierce on the blank screen. Cautiously I slide into the seat opposite her. Offer coffee. And a smile of recognition. “Hello, writer.” She looks up, bleary eyed. Befuddled. “How did you know?” The question sighs…
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If You Don't Know Me By Now …

We’re almost at the mid-point of the year and I’m … re-grouping. Breathing deep and re-evaluating, sorting boxes in my head and sticking to what is true. Discarding what is not. Figuring out who this girl really is. I haven’t always known for sure. Fear of failure and self-doubt swirl like monster waves and I’ve…
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And Sometimes Dreams Come True …

Warning. This is going to be rather long. But hey, it’s my blog. And I’ve waited a long time for this. So … about 20 years ago, I decided to get serious about becoming a published author. At the time, it was quite a dream. I had so much to learn, so much to absorb,…
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When It Gets Real … Get Grateful

That dream? You know the one. The one you’ve held tight to, let go of, buried and unburied and brushed off too many times … that dream you sometimes wouldn’t share with anyone because it scared even you? That dream you maybe cried over, prayed over, cursed and called yourself names over … because somehow…
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Secrets And Second Chances

I shared this post over at INSPY Romance last week, thought it was worth the repost. “I didn’t lie, exactly, I just didn’t tell you the truth.” Ever heard that before? Ever thought it? Said it? Done it? You don’t have to raise your hand. We’re all friends here, right? Secrets are funny things. Sometimes…
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Will You Give It Up?

Reading through my blog posts lately, I had a thought. Wow, this is depressing. Okay, yeah, that was my thought, but I kind of giggled afterward. Not just because it’s true, but because it’s been so much a part of my journey of late. All these challenges, battles and trials, the wondering, the waiting. And sometimes…
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What If … ?

March 30, 2015 | 1 Comment

What if? That’s how you start a story. Did you know? What if? It’s such a simple theory, yet so often hard to grasp. Because there are a million what-ifs, and how do you know which one fits? How do you know which one is just right, for you? Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes the story…

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We Are More …

March 16, 2015 | 5 Comments

Why does it have to be so hard? I wonder what the final count would be, were I to tally up all the times I’ve asked that question. And heard it. And felt it. Felt it so deep in my soul that it becomes a searing pain. One I have no idea what to do…

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The Painful Insignificance, Chocolate Cake and A Bottle of Wine …

March 12, 2015 | 8 Comments

You’ve had days like that. Days when for whatever reason, and it doesn’t matter why, you misjudge, miscalculate, miss the mark, make a snap decision and just do something utterly stupid. But then it’s done and it can’t be undone and so you pray and hope that one day, a week from now or a…

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So Sometimes We Get Stuck …

February 2, 2015 | 5 Comments

Ever been stuck? Like really stuck. Like, there is no way I’m getting out of this alive, stuck? Stuck, like tires spinning. No way out. Stuck, middle of the night in a silent house, staring into darkness, mind spinning. No way out. If you’re not there now, you will be. Or you have been. We…

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And Why, Exactly, Do We Break So Easily?

January 22, 2015 | 11 Comments

2015. I was so ready for it. Anticipating writing a very different blog post right about now. One in which I would share some good news I’d been given quite some time ago. But I can’t do that. And I’m not sure if or when I will be able to. Things changed and before I…

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Change…

January 12, 2015 | 12 Comments

My one word. My 2015 word. I’ve thought about it for a few weeks now. Thought about it’s various meanings. Thought about what I want it to mean, what it could mean, and why. Thought about how to make it work. And yet I’ve resisted. Already. While my Facebook feed has been blowing up with…

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What Do We Do Then, With The Broken?

November 26, 2014 | 10 Comments

We’re officially in holiday season. Tomorrow, my friends and family in the US will celebrate Thanksgiving. And then the Christmas decorations come out, the tree goes up and before we know it we’re singing Jingle Bells. Silent Night. O Come All Ye Faithful. But there are those around us who do not want to sing…

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Here's What I Know…

November 1, 2014 | 6 Comments

I love books. I love story. I love creating stories. I love reading stories. I love sharing stories. Apologies for my long absence here of late. Part of the reason for it is that I’ve been traveling. Hubby and I spent two weeks in Hawaii – a long awaited trip that was perfect in every…

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When It Comes Around…

September 19, 2014 | 11 Comments

There’s just something sacred about savoring silence. Whether you’re bathed in sunshine, cloaked in moonlight, huddled deep in cushions in the corner of the porch watching the rain come down or staring out over a frozen body of water, snow falling softly from tall pines…silence reaches deep and says something to the soul. I’m not a fan…

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What To Do With Fear and Failure and Other Nuisances

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

Maybe you’re familiar with the mantra? It’s easy to say. Easy to repeat. And easy to convince yourself of. Because if you say something enough times, eventually you begin to believe it.

Even if it’s not true.

So last week I wrote about change, and how I was going through a big change in my publishing journey. And yes, part of me is excited about stepping out, exploring new horizons. But, now that the dust has settled, a few old friends have come to call.

Fear. Failure. Insecurity. Anxiety.

Maybe you’re familiar with them too? Gah. I hope not, but . . . yeah, I bet you are. And when these guys throw a party, it’s usually not much fun. I keep reminding myself I’ve been here before. Not knowing what comes next or even how to take the next step. Feeling like a failure and hating it. Wondering if this writing thing is all a colossal waste of time and maybe I should just go back to crocheting. (Yes, I did crochet back in the day. I was never very good at it).

Courage.

That’s how you deal with fear and failure and their gang. You know they’re the type your Mama warned you about. They’ll drag you down, kick you while they’re at it and lay all the blame at your feet. Who needs friends like that?

But it’s hard. Especially when you can make a list as long as your arm, laying out all the reasons you’re in this place now. Everything you should have done and didn’t. Everything you did do that wasn’t good enough. Blah, blah, blah.

Courage.

I can’t change what has happened. But I can control where we go from here. And I can change my attitude.

No, it’s not easy. But it’s necessary. Because moping around feeling sorry for myself won’t get a thing done. I know that. I’ve been in this place before. Well, not this exact place, but pretty close. And I know that the only logical thing to do is to get up, open the door, and kick those demons out.

And yes, I know how hard it is. Some days it seems impossible. Some days you just want to be sad. I know. And I think that’s okay too. Some days it’s definitely okay to sit on the couch and eat cookies and watch The Good Place. I’ve been trying to stay off social media because I’m not really in the mood to read about new book deals and new releases. Sorry. I’m just not.

But. I also know I can’t stay on the couch. I have to get up at some point and do the next thing. Even if it’s only writing a blog post that maybe a few people will read. It’s something.

It’s also good to connect, to share, and try to encourage each other, right? I’m so grateful for the friends that have reached out. It helps to know you’re not really alone. Fellow writers really get it. That kind of community is vital. So you know. I know I won’t feel this way forever. I’m not a quitter. Sometimes I don’t know if that’s a good trait or a character flaw. But it’s got me this far, so I guess it’s a good thing.

Anybody with me today? Anybody want to get up, brush off the cookie crumbs and go do this thing?

I’ll walk with you.